Anonymous said: Hi, I followed you on college kids and now this blog. Can you please help me? My boyfriend broke up with me and I'm absolutely devastated. He said we need to work on ourselves before we can be together but we're running out of time and he said there's nothing I can say to make him change my mind. Do you have any advice?
I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s what you need to hear - MOVE ON.
Your heart is going to hurt, and it won’t be easy, but things will get better with everyday that passes. I PROMISE you this. He very clearly doesn’t want to be with you right now, and why would you ever want to be with someone who doesn’t want you?
I can say all this because I went through a god-awful break up exactly a year ago. I was a wreck. I couldn’t imagine a life without him, and I didn’t want one. I cried on the sidewalk, in the bathroom at my job, in front of strangers. It was horrible and I am now embarrassed and shocked by the way I acted for those few months.
The first thing you need to do is purge. Put all the photographs and memories in a box under your bed. Block him on Instagram. Unfriend him on Facebook. DO NOT CHECK IN ON HIM, this will bring you back to the start every time. The less you know about his life the better. And knowing nothing will be the best.
Next, keep busy. After my last break up I dove into work projects head first. I went to Crossfit 5x a week. I started reading like it was nobody’s business. I wrote a ton. I went to dinner at new restaurants with my friends every Friday night. I didn’t give myself a second to be bored or alone. You will be exhausted out of your mind but you won’t have enough time to be sad.
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I can guarantee you it will be worth it. You’re going to get sad and you’re going to cry, but you will be happy again. I can tell you that now, 12 months after my break up, I am happier, independent, and in the best shape of my life. I realize how much he held me back and I am doing things I NEVER would have done if I stayed with him.
Look at this as a time to live your life for you! And remember I am here for you if you ever need anything.